Anthony Landale

I meet lots of people who are passionate about what they are up to. But not all of them are engaging. So what’s missing?

Val is just such a person. She knows exactly what she is trying to pull off and why it matters. She has focus and energy and she knows how to get things done. The problem is that while her colleagues recognise and admire her drive and commitment they do nothing to help her. And when she asks them about this lack of support they tell her that she is so capable and impressive that they aren’t sure what they can do to help.

When Val told me this I sensed she had missed something important and her sense of frustration was evident. People, she said, were telling her how brilliant she was but they weren’t providing her with any partnership. And in this absence of help she was getting increasingly directive and bossy – the consequence being that the very people she wanted help from were becoming increasingly intimidated by her.

Val was at a crossroads. She was a force to be reckoned with and yet she was deeply unhappy. She was getting isolated and the future she cared about so passionately was arriving too slowly. In trying to force the pace she was simply driving people away.

I empathise with Val. Sometimes I also use too much force and find I’m not making progress. At such times I can come across as righteous and pushy. This is a long way from being the engaging leader I want to be. Better by far, I remind myself, to step back from my own agenda and instead take much more interest in how the people I’m working with want to grow and succeed. When I do that it’s humbling to find that often they also want to help me.

Leadership nudge: In your passion to get things done are you encouraging people’s initiative and ideas or demanding their obedience? Where could you let go of your own ideas of success and help someone else with theirs?

by Anthony Landale

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