One of the many challenges of bee-keeping for me is that of overcoming my stress around being stung. This challenge has in large measure spurred me on to enquire in to ways of bee-keeping that are about getting to know the bees and to understand them. The hope being that this approach to bee-keeping will mean that they are more friendly towards me and collaborate rather than being angry and scared.

I was reflecting on my approach to bee-keeping and on a conversation that I had with a leader about recent research into our stress response. In addition to the fight, flight, freeze response there is another response, that of tending and befriending. This response has us reach out to others, to build relationships with them, to give support and to be supported by them. It has us stay in At Your Best/Playing to Win mindset in which the focus is on co-invention and connection in recognition of the fact that your success is my success, and that we are in this and up to something together. Unlike the Just Surviving/Playing to Avoid Losing mindset which has us very much struggling, reacting out of fear and, or anger to others rather than reaching out to them, building relationships and allowing them to reach out to us.

This week give some thought to how you are responding, especially when you are challenged and, or feel stressed. Take a moment to see how you can reach out to others and or let them reach out to you.

You can read more about the different mindsets of At Your Best/Playing to Win versus Just Surviving/Playing to Avoid Losing in ‘Leadership: Plain and Simple’ and ‘How to make a Bigger Difference.’