I was with a team of leaders recently. They’d been working extremely hard for many months and were exhausted. There was little energy in the room and most of them talked about hanging on until their holiday. But many of them had big issues to deal with at home too. And that of course led them to talking about how to get a better balance of work and home.

Of course, even when you are full on at work, you can have a great home life. In fact it’s essential. But in order to have it you have to bring leadership to that part of your world too. So at work you have to be the best boss or colleague you can be and at home you have to be the best partner or parent or friend you can be. You have to be there with all the energy needed for the relationships you want.

This reminds me of a leader, David. Even though he loved his family deeply, David had realised that he typically arrived home grumpy and tired, and in that mode he never listened or showed any interest. He just wanted his kids to go to bed and to sit down with a glass of wine. Suddenly he saw that he was part of the problem and so he started bringing a different energy to home. He started listening, playing and being more involved again. And the result of course was that his wife and sons were immediately much happier – they started to value and appreciate him more – and he felt much more connected to the people he most cared about.

Leadership nudge: can you think of one situation or relationship which needs more energy from you? What would it take from you to bring it?

By Anthony Landale

Learn more about Anthony Landale, the author of this article.